One of my biggest fears in life is running in public. It is a fear I am "working on".
I have only been running (sporadically) for a little over two years. I honestly don't remember what caused me to start, but I'd be willing to bet it was a cute pair of running shoes. I have learned to love running, but as with most relationships, running and I have a few issues we need to work through.
Things I hate about running:
sports bras
how bright red my face gets
the first 1/4 mile
treadmills
asthma
the amount of food I devour after a run
how silly I feel for being proud of how far I ran
losing
After my first 5K in 1999, the paramedics at the finish line asked me if I needed assistance. A paramedic wanting to strap an oxygen mask to you kills a runner's high immediately. Three hours after the race, my face was still as red as a fire hydrant. That might explain why it took me 8 years before I ran again. Eight years and a couple of kids later....
I started running at the health club on the treadmill. That worked for a couple of weeks until a trainer asked me to check my heart rate because my face was so red. I decided I'd explore outdoor running. I liked it so much I convinced myself to try another race.
*Now, let me state the obvious here. I do not run in races to win. I run to finish. This doesn't mean I'm not competetive. I am VERY competetive. This creates a quandry. I'm not a good runner, but surely I'm better than someone. I fully understand how tacky that sounds, but it is the truth.
My next race was the Toad Suck 5K. I thought my competition was a fellow teacher who happened to be a "few" years older than me. At the gun, I lost her and was forced to find new competition. I tried to find someone around my age and build. That worked until I was passed by Senator Gilbert Baker and his entire family. They were running with a banner and American flags like a parade on speed. My running suddenly turned political. I did not want to be passed by a family of homeschooling Republicans. (I will probably lose some readers because of this statement- before you leave my blog please note that they beat me, by a lot) I crossed the finish line and ran straight for my car. I did not want to be approached by any paramedics or well intending race officials.
My oldest daughter has shown interest in running. She is in the running club at her school. Last year, she ran a 5K at school, and she asked me to run as well. I knew I would have to hold back my competetive nature. I encouraged her to run as much as she could and tried not to feel "held back". I tried by best to encourage her and other runners and not fret over my lagging pace. I was proud to watch her cross the finish line well ahead of me. I am not proud of the desire to kick in the afterburners and smoke the two kids in front of me. At the finish line, I hugged my kid and left before I had to pose for pictures (remember the red face).
Last Friday, I decided to run in a 2 mile race the next morning. Immediately after registering, I did what all experienced runners do the night before a race. I carb loaded. Alright.....no one carb loads before a 2 mile race, but it was a good excuse to stuff my face. Never EVER should you eat catfish, a baked potato, hushpuppies, bread pudding, banana pudding, and a couple bites of chocolate cake the night before any race.
As I was waiting for the race to start, I began the search for my competition. Everyone was so skinny!!! Everyone except for the pregnant lady. She would be my competition. Remember, I had bread pudding. That made it an even match. As we lined up for the race, I looked for her in front of me and since I didn't see her, I assumed she was behind me. That meant I was ALREADY winning.
I made sure I was not passed by anyone resembling a pregnant lady. I allowed anyone with professional running attire pass and refrained from spitting on them. At the last 1/2 mile, I was regretting every french fry I ate the night before (did I forget to mention the french fries???). That was when I was passed by a kindergartner. I thought about hopping in the ambulance that seemed to be following me. I then noticed a shirtless man running the opposite direction. He met up with who I assumed was his kindergarten daughter, and they ran the rest of the race together. I decided it was not fair to consider her my competition. Her parents probably never let her eat a banana split for dinner. Bless her heart. I can safely say I did not let any pregnant ladies pass me. After I crossed the finish line, I forced myself to "hang around". I received some strange looks that could only be due to my rosy red complexion. As I was cruising around, cooling down, I saw my pregnant competition. She looked very relaxed. She had not run the 2 mile!!! She apparently had entered the 1 mile Pet Walk. I then realized that not only had I NOT beaten a pregnant lady in a race, I was smoked by a kindergartner. Yea, me.
My next race is Thursday. It is my daughter's race. It is about her. I will not be looking for pregnant women or kindergarteners to beat. I might even stick around for a picture or two. Wish me luck!
