I am celebrating my 5 year cancerversary this month!!!!
Each year after I was diagnosed with melanoma, I decided to do something new, different, or out of the ordinary. My first year I asked friends to join my Relay for Life team. Many friends and coworkers walked for the team and several die-hards (Melissa, Mary & Paula) even spent the night on a cold football field to raise money for cancer research. I promised them I would never do that again.
The following year I ran a 5k. The next year I went to Hawaii. Last year, I ziplined through the rainforest. When I look back over the years, I realize I really wasn't doing anything for others. How did going to Hawaii help others fight cancer? I'd like to think that a melanoma survivor going to the most beautiful beach in the world and still being able to enjoy the sun SAFELY set a good example for others. I'm pretty sure that is a stretch.
This year I wanted to do something for others as well as being a little selfish. I am running a 10k for the first time ever and several dear friends have signed up to run as well. A dear friend has even designed shirts for us to wear that say PEACE, LOVE, & SPF on the front. I'd like to think that this is not a truly selfish bucket list item. Maybe with all these shirts- someone will say, "I need to have my ugly mole looked at" or "I need to put on more sunscreen". Boom- saved someones life.
I also plan to donate my hair to Locks of Love. I had hoped it would be long enough by now to donate but I'd look pretty funny with a buzz cut. My hairdresser assures me I will have plenty by December.
I am also going to get a tattoo. Well.....another tattoo. I've had great fun thinking about what I should get. I think others have had fun, too. One person suggested I have a mole tattooed on my scar in honor of the one that was removed. Chris thinks I should have STFU tattooed on my hand. That's more of a personal joke but I bet most people can get it. Another friend said I should have my rectangular skin graft site made into an iPhone since it looks like I left one on my leg while in the sun. Since I won't be getting my tat until after my run, I still have a few weeks to decide. I am open to suggestions but it has to be happy and tasteful- no Melissa I am not having your face tattooed on my tush. Yours either, Shannon.
I also plan to give out sunscreen. This sounds a little looney in my mind but that is one way I feel like I can say- I did what I could to help others. Now- I just need to know where I can get a box of sunscreen at a good price.
Another bucket list item is to speak up. Ha- like I don't already do this. I guess what I mean is to be more vocal about my experience and how it can help others. While I don't plan on protesting at area tanning salons- I do plan on telling others the importance of sunscreen and seeing a dermatologist. Don't be alarmed if I tell you that you have an ugly mole that needs to be seen by a doc. On second thought- do be alarmed. I will only tell you that because I care. However, please refrain from showing me any moles that you are worried about. My opinion is always the same. Get it off your body as quickly as possible. The way I look at it, scars are great stories only survivors get to tell. I'd rather hear about your scar than your tan line.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My Melaphukanoma Story
I'm not really sure what my official Cancerversary is. I don't know if I'm supposed to mark the day of my diagnosis, my surgery, or my "all clear" day. So what the heck- I'll celebrate all three.
I was dreading April 25 for silly selfish reasons. I planned a personal day to register Henley for kindergarten and spend the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself because my first born would soon be starting school. My plans and my life quickly changed.
A couple weeks before, I had an appointment with a dermatologist to look at a "suspect" mole on my forearm. As soon as Dr. Russell saw it, she knew it had to go. I remember her words, "I don't like the way this guy looks." I was not terribly concerned because I had diagnosed myself before the doctor came in the room. According to the posters on the wall, I believed I had some basal cell or dysplastic mole. She took it off, and I thought I was done. On April 24th, she called and asked me to come by the next morning. Since I was already taking the day off, I said I would stop by before registering Henley.
The next morning, Chris asked me if I wanted him to come with me to the appointment. I don't remember being alarmed, but I agreed. I was still focusing on my upcoming pre-kindergarten depression. Dr. Russell did not waste any time. She said, "I'm glad you were able to come Chris.........." That's the exact moment I realized something was wrong. He listened while I watched my suddenly short fragile world flash in front of me. She said I had melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer. She went on to say that people with melanoma have an 5 year survival rate of 80%. As a "B" student throughout school, that number didn't bother me until Chris clarified. He said, "So you mean, there is a 20% chance she could die from this?" Suddenly, I wanted to be an "A+" student.
The next thing I knew, we were in the surgeon's office discussing how much skin was going to be removed, how to determine if the cancer had spread, and what further treatments would need to follow. Because my cancer was deep (a Clark level of 4 out of 5) and in a awkward spot, I would have a very large scar that would require a skin graft. While most skin graft donation sites come from your tushie- I couldn't come to terms with having skin from my ass grafted onto my arm. To this day, I still think this was a wise decision. I decided to have a patch of skin from my thigh grafted to my arm. The selected patch included a mole I suddenly hated and wanted to show it who was boss. (On a side note- the mole on my thigh grew back- I'm apparently not the boss.)
After several hours at the surgeon's office, it was decided I would have surgery in two days. I remember looking at my calender and saying, "I can't have it Wednesday because I have a module test and Friday isn't good because it's my daughter's birthday, Thursday isn't good because I have a softball game that night." Cancer didn't fit in my schedule.
Once the surgery was scheduled, I had to tell my principal I would need to be off work for two weeks. It seemed a little unfair to have to go to work on my personal day. My assistant principal was the first one I saw and bless her heart- she was as far as I made it. She was so reassuring. She seemed mad at my cancer and told me not to worry about work. While I was telling my boss, Chris was telling my family. My family has had a tough time medically with my dad's death in 1985 and my mom's brain tumor in 1999. I couldn't bear to give them the news.
Did I mention all this happened before noon? In a fog, I drove around for awhile before I remembered I had something to do. I drove to the elementary school and was greeted by smiling faces. I knew these teachers from my student teaching. They were excited to hear that Henley was going to be there in the fall. As I filled out the forms, I came to the Social History questions. I read the question, "Are there any family medical situations at home?" I wanted to put, "Yes, AND I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS!!!!" Instead, I sobbed in the little school chair and felt pretty damn sorry for myself.
On the day of my surgery, the attending nurse asked me if I knew what I was there for. I told her I was there to get the ugly ass cancer out of my body. She laughed and said, "You will beat this because you have already decided not to let it beat you." On Thursday, April 27th 2006, I had a section of skin above my wrist removed that measured a diameter of 4.7 cm with a diameter of 1 cm. Two sentinel nodes were removed, and a skin graft the size of an iPhone. The nodes came back clear which meant the cancer had not spread. My oncologist recommended an eight week course of interferon to prevent the melanoma from returning. After learning how sick the drug would make me and the benefit it "might" provide, I decided not go through with the treatment. For five years I have debated that decision. Did I make a decision for convenience only to hurt me in the long run?
Cancer has not beaten me. I have made cancer my bitch for FIVE years now. To anyone who thinks skin cancer is not a serious cancer, I would love to show you my twelve scars and my pile of medical bills. While most 5 year survivors get a clean bill of health, melanoma doesn't play the same. Melanoma hides better than other cancers. Skin cancer does not show up on CT scans or bone scans and is often only detected my a dermatologist. I will continue to have CT scans, bone scans, blood tests, and skin checks every six to nine months. I will continue to slather on an SPF 35 on sunny AND cloudy days. I will continue swimming and loving the outdoors but will remember to reapply every sunscreen every two hours. I will continue to get my tans from a bottle.
Have you had your moles checked?
Did you know melanoma can develop in your eyes, on your palms and even on your nail beds? Did you know that one serious burn as a child significantly increases your chances of developing melanoma? Melanoma is the most common cancer in people ages 25-29. It is the second most common cancer in adolescents. It is estimated that 1 in 5 people will develop a form of skin cancer in their lifetime.
I was dreading April 25 for silly selfish reasons. I planned a personal day to register Henley for kindergarten and spend the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself because my first born would soon be starting school. My plans and my life quickly changed.
A couple weeks before, I had an appointment with a dermatologist to look at a "suspect" mole on my forearm. As soon as Dr. Russell saw it, she knew it had to go. I remember her words, "I don't like the way this guy looks." I was not terribly concerned because I had diagnosed myself before the doctor came in the room. According to the posters on the wall, I believed I had some basal cell or dysplastic mole. She took it off, and I thought I was done. On April 24th, she called and asked me to come by the next morning. Since I was already taking the day off, I said I would stop by before registering Henley.
The next morning, Chris asked me if I wanted him to come with me to the appointment. I don't remember being alarmed, but I agreed. I was still focusing on my upcoming pre-kindergarten depression. Dr. Russell did not waste any time. She said, "I'm glad you were able to come Chris.........." That's the exact moment I realized something was wrong. He listened while I watched my suddenly short fragile world flash in front of me. She said I had melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer. She went on to say that people with melanoma have an 5 year survival rate of 80%. As a "B" student throughout school, that number didn't bother me until Chris clarified. He said, "So you mean, there is a 20% chance she could die from this?" Suddenly, I wanted to be an "A+" student.
The next thing I knew, we were in the surgeon's office discussing how much skin was going to be removed, how to determine if the cancer had spread, and what further treatments would need to follow. Because my cancer was deep (a Clark level of 4 out of 5) and in a awkward spot, I would have a very large scar that would require a skin graft. While most skin graft donation sites come from your tushie- I couldn't come to terms with having skin from my ass grafted onto my arm. To this day, I still think this was a wise decision. I decided to have a patch of skin from my thigh grafted to my arm. The selected patch included a mole I suddenly hated and wanted to show it who was boss. (On a side note- the mole on my thigh grew back- I'm apparently not the boss.)
After several hours at the surgeon's office, it was decided I would have surgery in two days. I remember looking at my calender and saying, "I can't have it Wednesday because I have a module test and Friday isn't good because it's my daughter's birthday, Thursday isn't good because I have a softball game that night." Cancer didn't fit in my schedule.
Once the surgery was scheduled, I had to tell my principal I would need to be off work for two weeks. It seemed a little unfair to have to go to work on my personal day. My assistant principal was the first one I saw and bless her heart- she was as far as I made it. She was so reassuring. She seemed mad at my cancer and told me not to worry about work. While I was telling my boss, Chris was telling my family. My family has had a tough time medically with my dad's death in 1985 and my mom's brain tumor in 1999. I couldn't bear to give them the news.
Did I mention all this happened before noon? In a fog, I drove around for awhile before I remembered I had something to do. I drove to the elementary school and was greeted by smiling faces. I knew these teachers from my student teaching. They were excited to hear that Henley was going to be there in the fall. As I filled out the forms, I came to the Social History questions. I read the question, "Are there any family medical situations at home?" I wanted to put, "Yes, AND I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS!!!!" Instead, I sobbed in the little school chair and felt pretty damn sorry for myself.
On the day of my surgery, the attending nurse asked me if I knew what I was there for. I told her I was there to get the ugly ass cancer out of my body. She laughed and said, "You will beat this because you have already decided not to let it beat you." On Thursday, April 27th 2006, I had a section of skin above my wrist removed that measured a diameter of 4.7 cm with a diameter of 1 cm. Two sentinel nodes were removed, and a skin graft the size of an iPhone. The nodes came back clear which meant the cancer had not spread. My oncologist recommended an eight week course of interferon to prevent the melanoma from returning. After learning how sick the drug would make me and the benefit it "might" provide, I decided not go through with the treatment. For five years I have debated that decision. Did I make a decision for convenience only to hurt me in the long run?
Cancer has not beaten me. I have made cancer my bitch for FIVE years now. To anyone who thinks skin cancer is not a serious cancer, I would love to show you my twelve scars and my pile of medical bills. While most 5 year survivors get a clean bill of health, melanoma doesn't play the same. Melanoma hides better than other cancers. Skin cancer does not show up on CT scans or bone scans and is often only detected my a dermatologist. I will continue to have CT scans, bone scans, blood tests, and skin checks every six to nine months. I will continue to slather on an SPF 35 on sunny AND cloudy days. I will continue swimming and loving the outdoors but will remember to reapply every sunscreen every two hours. I will continue to get my tans from a bottle.
Have you had your moles checked?
Did you know melanoma can develop in your eyes, on your palms and even on your nail beds? Did you know that one serious burn as a child significantly increases your chances of developing melanoma? Melanoma is the most common cancer in people ages 25-29. It is the second most common cancer in adolescents. It is estimated that 1 in 5 people will develop a form of skin cancer in their lifetime.
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